Nobody Likes Akito
by The Character's Death
Summary: Akito receives a karaoke machine for Christmas…he is not pleased… Akito has a plan to get rid if said machine. WARNING! Rated M for extremely offensive language. Dedicated to my dearest friend, Kon13! Thank you for everything you have ever done for me! Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket. "Oneshot/Complete*


_Okay, __**MASIVE WARNING HERE**__! I have rated this mature for a reason. There is extremely offensive language within this story. It is meant to entertain, but that being said, I do not wish to offend anyone needlessly. You have been warned. Read it if you dare…much hilarity to ensue! Okay…moving on! This is for my dearest friend Kon13, who has given me so much. Now…I give it back._

* * *

An audible sigh escaped him as he put the glass to his lips, taking a slow sip of his drink. Every year it just got worse. Why he put up with these people, and let them live, was still beyond him. His deep, onyx eyes trailed their way across the banquet table, unsure of how much more he could endure. The fact that these people were…family…would not save them from suffering his rage. They all deserved it… Every. Single. One of them. His hand reflexively tightened over his glass as a sour note was stuck from the music filling the banquet hall. Narrowing his gaze towards the offender…an almost animalistic growl rumbled in his throat.

Why the two of them had ever thought he would actually _enjoy_ this depraved contraption still baffled him. Ayame and Shigure had been so proud of themselves when they presented him with this Christmas gift. Morons…_both_ of them. Shigure actually had to explain how this machine worked. He had never heard of a…karaoke machine…before. Ayame and Shigure had been more than happy at the time to demonstrate how it worked…and he hadn't had a decent nights sleep since. Now this…device…was the main attraction of the Zodiac New Year's Banquet.

Sitting in his rightful place at the head of the table, he took another hard drink as Shigure finally concluded his song on the machine. Something called…Blurred Lines…or so he surmised from the lyrics of the song displayed on the screen next to the karaoke machine. Ayame sang backup…and the whole performance had just been one giant sexual innuendo that he was grateful was over. They were annoying all on their own…but together…they were insufferable. Profanity unbecoming of the head of the Sohma family slipped through his lips as Ritsu approached the machine, nervously taking the microphone from a smiling Shigure. The blood underneath his flesh began to boil as Ritsu started in on a song called "Total Eclipse of the Heart." This was going to end right here. Right now. They would all pay dearly for ruining _his_ banquet.

Slamming his glass to the table, nearly shattering it by shear force, he stood from his place at the table…ignoring the spinning of his head and slight loss of balance as he stalked over to the machine.

"A…kito Sama?" Ritsu squeaked timidly from the microphone as dark onyx eyes glared back at him…and Akito snatched the microphone from his hands roughly, pushing him to the floor.

The rest of the Zodiac stared on in horrified disbelief as Ritsu began to whimper from the floor. Going over to the machine, Akito abruptly halted the obnoxious melody as low murmurs flooded the banquet hall. Squinting down at the machine, a slow smirk played across his lips as he finally found an acceptable choice. Letting out a low sigh into the microphone as the music slowly cued up, his back facing the banquet table, Akito felt the rhythm of the music move through him as he quickly glanced at the lyrics scrolling up the screen. Spinning around to face his family, he threw out his slender arm from underneath his kimono sleeve as he jutted a finger in their direction, belting out the lyrics of the song he had chosen.

**Nobody likes me  
No one likes me  
But I don't like them  
Uh huh, I don't, nu uh**

Akito sang to the rhythm of the karaoke machine, bobbing his head in time with the music as he continued to read off the prompter screen, the rest of the Zodiac looking on in baffled confusion.

**Nobody likes me  
No one likes me  
Why? 'Cause I don't like them  
Uh huh, I don't, nu uh**

His words, while carrying a slight slur, flowed effortlessly as he began to fall into the rhythmic pace of the rap, his onyx gaze burning with rage and copious amounts of alcohol fueling his hate-fire.

**All this **

**Hate you gave me **

**It **

**Turned me deranged  
Now I'm **

**Burning in flames  
All the **

**Things that you said **

**They've been **

**Stuck in my head  
And now I'm **

**At it again **

**An addict  
Welcome to hell, bitch  
You can't do nothin' about it**

Akito was making his way down the mental list of those present who needed to feel the whiplash of his verbal backhand. His dark gaze drifting away from the prompter to the ground below him, Akito spied his first victim as Risu still huddled on the ground sniveling at his feet. Perfect… As his onyx eyes narrowed on the crumpled mass of a he-she Akito directed the full force of his rage as he screamed the next set of lyrics in Ritsu's face.

**Outta my way **

**Faggot,**

Ritsu blinked up at Akito in horrified confusion, flinching from the words directed at him. Akito then stooped to his level, taking Ritsu's jaw roughly in his hand as he screamed right in his ear.

**You heard what I said **

**Damnit!**

And with that Risu began to sob uncontrollably as Akito pushed him away. He stood from the floor and ran from the banquet hall crying, earning a snide smirk of pleasure from the head of the Sohma house. Without skipping a beat Akito turned his gaze to the rest of the Zodiac as he continued on down the list.

**I am an automatic **

**Ready to fire back at**  
**All you fuckers laughin'**

Akito's gaze drifted to Ayame and Shigure, sitting at the table staring back at him. Neither one of them were smiling now as they took in the spectacle with a growing sense of alarm.

**Not gonna lie I've had it, **

**I'm gonna wreak havoc**  
**Everyone's dying**  
**Don't matter**

Akito felt himself begin to sway to the chorus as he chanted along with the rhythm of the karaoke music.

**This is my chance  
Maybe my last  
And if I leave  
There's no way back**

**This is your fate**  
**When worlds collapse**  
**I took my pain**  
**Now I'll give it back**

Akito took a breath as a poor replacement for the real artist took over the lyrics, waiting for his opportunity to jump in again.

**_I give it back, give it back  
Only one of us will laugh last_**

Akito chimed in with the lyrics on the screen, keeping perfect time as he sang out.

**Now I'll give it back...**

He took another breath as the stand-in came over the music again, giving him a moment to breathe.

**_I give it back, give it back  
Break this whole fucking world in half_**

With that Akito jumped back into the chorus of the song, bobbing his head as he waved his free arm in the air, screaming the lyrics.**  
**  
**Nobody likes me  
No one likes me  
But I don't like them  
Uh huh, I don't, nu uh**

**Nobody likes me**  
**No one likes me**  
**Why? 'Cause I don't like them**  
**Uh huh, I don't, nu uh**

Feeling the change in the music, Akito's voice grew sultry as his eyes burned into his family. All of them were at the table staring back at him, wide eyed and slack jawed at the spectacle unfolding in front of them. Akito simply continued to sing his enraged heart out.**  
**  
**I used to have so many friends  
I thought I could trust  
But when it came to saving me  
You let me self-destruct**

Akito finally stalked away from the machine, clumsily crawling onto the banquet table as he attempted to fix his kimono, walking down the table glaring at the people looking up at him...eating _his_ food.

**Well I'm back now, **

**I'm seeking out this vengeance  
Not to mention **

**That this black cloud, **

**It sticks around  
And visits my intuition, **

**Won't let me back down  
And I swear that**

**My heart is like a piston**

Akito thumped his chest with his free fist, holding the microphone to his lips with his other hand as he continued his lyrical rant.

**Pumping rage into this engine, **

**Turn the keys to my ignition**

**Listen**

Akito began to kick plates of food off the table as they flew to the walls and floor. Clipping one of the plates of food with his foot, Akito sent it sailing right into Momiji's face as the young boy cried out in pain, a stern-faced Hatori coming over to his aid. Akito gave an unfazed smirk, continuing with the song. He wasn't done making them suffer…not by a long shot.

**Nobody likes me  
It's enlightening, **

**It excites me  
And I talk this shit **

**With the lyrics that I spit  
And still nobody will fight me**

Glancing over the fear-struck faces, Akito caught sight of his next victim. Stalking on top of the dinner table, he crouched low right in front of Yuki. Grabbing a hold of Yuki's shirt collar, Akito lifted him slightly from his seat, getting in his face as he snarled out the next lyrics to the set of terrified amethyst eyes.

**Try walking a mile in my shoes  
And get beat with your own Nikes  
I'm a grimey motherfucker with a mic' **

**So call me Mickey**

Akito smacked him roughly on the forehead with the microphone before releasing him back into his seat and standing up to continue his song. Who else was next?**  
**  
**I got no patience lately  
For these fucking faggots  
Faking making **

**Lies up  
Wise up**

Onyx eyes met equally enraged ones as Aktio gave a smirk to his cousin, Hatsuharu. Sauntering over to his cousin, Akito glared down violently at him as he directed the next set of lyrics at his fiery family member.

**And if you really think you can take me  
Wake me up from this lazy battle  
Rattle you with my crazy battle  
Pay my dues back on the saddle  
The lonely road that I slowly travel**

Raising the middle finger of his free hand to Haru, Aktio quickly turned around before his cousin could react to the offensive gesture as he effortlessly broke into the chorus again.

**This is my chance  
Maybe my last  
And if I leave  
There's no way back**

**This is your fate**  
**When worlds collapse**  
**I took my pain**  
**Now I'll give it back**

**_I give it back, give it back  
Only one of us will laugh last  
_****Now I'll give it back...****_  
I give it back, give it back  
Break this whole fucking world in half  
_****Break this world in half!****_  
_****  
Nobody likes me  
No one likes me  
But I don't like them  
Uh huh, I don't, nu uh**

**Nobody likes me**  
**No one likes me**  
**Why? 'Cause I don't like them**  
**Uh huh, I don't, nu uh**

Akito closed his eyes as the music took over. An evil smile spread across his lips as he opened his eyes once more, narrowing his gaze back on his increasingly unnerved relatives.**  
**  
**You thought you **

**Figured it out  
You thought **

**You figured it out  
Uh huh**

**You thought you **

**Figured it out  
You thought **

**You... **

Sucking in the air around him, Akito screamed the next set of lyrics at the top of his lungs straight into the microphone as the member's of the Zodiac winced in pain, covering their ears.

**Figured me OUT!**

**You'll never figure me OUT!  
You can't figure me OUT!  
Shut the FUCK UP!  
I'll burn you fuckers DOWN!**

Another malicious, drunken smile spread across his lips as he made his way down the table, stumbling off and back to the karaoke machine as his family looked on helplessly. They were hostages at their own banquet…cowering in fear of this drunken, lyrical terrorist.

**I know you're proud  
I held my ground  
Time's running out**

**You hear the crowd**  
**They know you're down**  
**Time's running out**

Akito belted out the chorus one last time, satisfied that he had finally gained retribution for suffering the company of these idiots.**  
**  
**Nobody likes me  
No one likes me  
But I don't like them  
Uh huh, I don't, nu uh**

**Nobody likes me**  
**No one likes me**  
**Why? 'Cause I don't like them**  
**Uh huh, I don't, nu uh**

**Now it's**

**Much too late to say **

**You're sorry  
Don't care **

**What you think  
Uh huh, I don't, nu uh**

**Now it's**

**Much too late to say **

**You're sorry  
Don't care **

**What you think  
Uh huh, I don't, nu uh**

As the music finally died down, the room became quiet as the Zodiac looked on in stunned disbelief. Their eyes trailed along as the head of their family slowly stalked over without another word to take his place at the head of the table once again…and the rest of the New Year's celebration was spent in awkward silence and wary glances.

Walking down the halls of the main estate several days later Akito gave a slow smile. Ever since the banquet his house had remained in silence, as Hatori had made Ayame and Shigure take the diabolical contraption back to where it had come from. The smile continued to spread across Akito's lips as he let out a low chuckle to himself. His master plan…had worked…

* * *

**A/N: Lyrics featured in this story are from the song "Nobody Likes Me" by Deuce.**

**If you laughed...even the least...you now owe me a review...and a big thank you!**


End file.
